I Am NEOne

Increase connection through my words and actions.

What we say and do matters. The words we use can either bring about more connection or increase distance between individuals.   

Stigma is negative attitudes or assumptions about someone who is having a particular experience. It could be poverty, incarceration, homelessness, or mental illness. These negative associations often make it hard for people to talk about their experience and get help. You can help reduce the stigma by:    

• Learning, practicing, and acknowledging when you make a mistake. 
• Using person-first language (PFL)—e.g., a person who is feeling lonely, a person who is experiencing mental health challenges, a person who needs support. This can help us see the individual as a whole person with their experience as only one piece of them—and that it may even be temporary. The American Psychological Association has some great examples of PFL in their Inclusive Language Guide.

Be a light of encouragement and empathy.

Empathy is not feeling sorry for what someone is going through. It’s imagining their experience and how it could make them think or feel. It’s a shared humanity where something within us says, “Wow, I can see how hard this is,” or “This must really be scary,” or “I can understand why you feel this way.”

Check in with those around me.

If you are thinking about someone, send them a quick text saying you are. Walk down the hall and see how your coworker spent their weekend. Ask your kids to tell you about one thing they learned today instead of simply asking how they are, which often gets the automatic response of “I’m good” or “I’m fine.” Or try some variations:  

• Anything cool happen today? 
• You doing okay today? 
• How did you sleep last night?

Normalize conversations around mental well-being.

Model vulnerability. Talking openly and in a productive way about your own feelings, energy level, and stressors can open the door for others to feel more comfortable sharing.

Recognize readiness to share. Not everyone will want to talk about their struggles right away, so allowing the opportunity for the door to be opened can be helpful. Here are some examples for how you can start a conversation: 

• I’ve notice that you haven’t been joining us at book club lately. Are you okay?
• Do you want to go grab coffee with me?
• Something seems to be bothering you. Do you want to talk about it? 
• It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Know that I’m here for you when you are. 

Here are some additional tips and information for parents and caregivers through a local Nebraska initiative, TalkHeart2Heart. 

Model healthy and productive coping strategies. 

We all have stress in our lives—it’s a part of being human. But did you know there are two types of stress? There is good stress, called eustress, and bad stress, called distress.

Eustress is the positive energy we feel—the stress that moves us forward. It’s the stress we feel when we make ourselves get out of bed in the morning, when we do physical exercise, or when we have an exciting project we’re working on.

Distress, on the other hand, is the stress that holds us back and keeps us from striving and thriving. It’s the stress we feel when we have too many things on our to-do list, when we don’t have the money to pay all our bills, and when we feel the weight of other people’s expectations pressing down on us.

These are experiences that we often can’t avoid. However, we do control how we choose to reflect, process, and view these stressors. We can also build coping strategies into our lives to reduce the impact of these experiences.

Coping strategies come in as many different shapes and sizes as people do. Some key components of healthy coping strategies include spending time with safe and supportive people, spending time in comfortable places, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Seek out the people, places, and things that fill your soul!

Self-care and coping strategies should be built into our daily life as routines, habits, and structure. It’s the foods we eat, the music or podcast we listen to on the way to work, the bedtime we set for ourselves, the screentime breaks we build into our day, and the deep breaths we take.

Boys Town’s 99 coping strategies are a good way to introduce healthy coping strategies for young people. Starting these habits at an early age can build the framework for a thriving life.